Dear Jon Stewart,

So my boyfriend Justin (who is this close to being my ex boyfriend Justin) says I'm a clueless idiot to actually think you're going to do anything about the stuff I've been suggesting.  Actually, he says he doesn't even think you or anyone else even reads my letters.   

So it would help a lot with Justin, my boss and my mom, if you could just say like, hey Cindi, I'm getting your letters, but I can't do anything about them right now.  Or wink maybe.  Then I'd know. 

I'm really starting to wish I hadn't told them.  But I'm watching your show every night now.  Just in case.

All the best!

Cindi,
from you know where!